Run! Olympus is Doomed!
by greekgeek25
Summary: You've seen it attack the Greeks, and you've seen it attack the Romans. Watch as it acquires its next target: The Olympians! The terrible monster is none other than caffeine! Will the gods be able to survive? Or will Olympus fall with them? Third in the Caffeine Series. Previous books: Got Caffeine? and No! Not the Caffeine Again!
1. Watching and Beginning the Experiment

**Here is the long awaited godly caffeine story! If you haven't read the previous caffeine stories (Got Caffeine? and No! Not the Caffeine Again!), that's okay. You don't have to read them to understand this story, but it does give the background behind this story.**

**Disclaimer for all chapters: I don't own anything in this story that is copyrighted.**

**The first part is pieces of the videos from the previous Greek and Roman caffeine experiments. The gods are watching it, so it gives their commentary on the parts.**

_"Nico: "Look at me! I'm super death breath! I'll save you from ponies, rainbows, princesses, flowers, and candy canes! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hand me the super glue!" Takes empty cans and superglues them together to make a tiara. Nico sets it on his head. "SUPER DEATH BREATH! To the rescue!" Makes weird flying noises and pretends to fly around the room, eliminating anything pink with his imaginary wand. "_

Hades: My son! What happened to you?!

Poseidon: "This is hilarious! Blackmail!"

Hades_(glaring)_: "Just remember, I also have blackmail. Remember the time Aphrodite made you wear a mullet and sing? Yeah, I got that all on video..." _Poseidon blanches._

…

_"Leo: "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by to see how you guys were doing. Wassup?"_

_Reyna(gasping): "W-who are you?" Walks over to him._

_Leo: "Leo Valdez, repair boy extraordinaire, at your service."_

_Reyna: "L-E-O. Valdez. I like it. Very Spanish."_

_Leo: "Uh, Reyna?"_

_Reyna: "I like Reyna Valdez even better. The names sound perfect together." She puts her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek._

_Leo: "Will Reyna kill me for this later?"_

_Gwen: "She probably won't even remember this."_

_Leo: "Well, in that case..." He puts his arm around Reyna. "My dear Reyna, you just earned a one-way ticket to Leo's World." Reyna giggles. They sit at the table next to each other."_

Hermes: "Impressive tactic! Leo may have some of my blood in him after all!"

Hephaestus_(angry)_: "WERE YOU SEEING ESPERANZA VALDEZ?! I loved her! I will kill you Hermes!" _Gets up from his throne and advances toward Hermes._

Ares: "FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Hermes: "Woah, Heph! I was joking! I didn't even know who Esperanza was until now!"

Hephaestus_(calms down and sits back at his throne)_: "Oh... Sorry. I tend to overreact..."

Aphrodite_(mutters)_: "Yeah, I know. Really, you need to stop freaking out when I'm five hours late to our date! A girl has to have time to do her hair!"

…

_"Octavian: "Ooo! Give me your bobby pin Hazel!" Hazel gives Octavian her bobby pin, confused. Octavian twists the bobby pin into a circle. "Teddy Bear, the few hours we have spent together have been the best of my life. Please give me the honor of marrying you!… SHE SAID YES!" He starts crying and kissing the teddy bear. The Senate looks on in horror."_

_Everyone in the throne room erupts into laughter._

Apollo: "T-that was-was the f-funniest thi-thing I h-have ever se-seen!"

…

_"Frank: "Cough, cough." He disappears. Hazel looks at where he was and gasps._

_Hazel: "H-He's a krill! Someone give me some water to put him in!"_

_Don: "Sorry, babe, but we don't have any water. Only Mountain Dew."_

_Ella: "Krill. Mill. Till. Sill. Cinnamon Rolls!"_

_Dakota: "CINNAMON ROLLS! I want one!"_

_Hylla: "I'll take a chocolate roll!"_

_Hazel: "Mountain Dew will have to do." She places Frank the krill into a full Mountain Dew can._

_Gwen: "I really hope no one drinks that.""_

Dionysus: "This is making me thirsty."

Athena: "I am getting quite thirsty."

Zeus: "I'm so thirsty, I would drink that Mountain Dew with Frank the krill in it."

Poseidon: "HOW DARE YOU WANT TO DRINK A SEA CREATURE!"

Ares: "HOW DARE YOU WANT TO DRINK MY ALTER-EGO'S SON!"

Dionysus: "I'm still thirsty."

Demeter: "I want cereal."

…

_"Katie: "Are you... Flirting with me?"_

_Travis: "Why shouldn't I? I've had a crush on you for like ever."_

_Katie: "But- but you hate me! You always prank me!"_

_Rachel: "This can't be good... He's moving closer."_

_Travis: "Have you ever wondered why I prank you, flower princess?" He leans in and quickly places a kiss on her lips. Katie stands there, in shock._

_Grover: "Let me say yeah a yeah a yeah yeah a yeah. And let me kiss you."_

_Rachel: "Looks like we have some things to talk about. Here Katie, take a Mountain Dew and sit.""_

Aphrodite_(squeals)_: "OMG! They kissed! How cute!"

Artemis: "I really hope we don't have to watch more of this kissing stuff. It's plain gross!"

Aphrodite: "Oh, shut it. You're just jealous! Ever since the Orion incident, you've shut yourself off from love! You need to get back in the game!"

Artemis_(angry)_: "Don't you dare mention Orion! It was all my stupid brother's fault!"

Apollo: "I didn't trust him! He didn't deserve to be with you!" _Artemis and Apollo start yelling at each other._

Hera_(to Zeus)_: "This is what you get for having children with other women! Two fighting brats!" _Zeus and Hera start yelling at each other._

Hermes: "We really need family counseling."

…

_"Dakota: "Not as crazy as me! To be that you would have to climb up a tree! Are you blind? I just turned into a mime! Leo might be hot. But when he talks to girls, all they say is 'STOP'! Oh, I just made a rhyme! Well, I got to go, look at the time! PEACE!"_

_Don: "AH-HA! I found a stash of Kool-Aid! SCORE!"_

_Dakota: "Give it to me now, man! Hey, shouldn't you have a tan? Kool-Aid is my life! I hope it doesn't lead to my demise...""_

Hermes: "BOOM! That was some epic rapping man!"

Apollo: "It's not as good as my rapping!"

Artemis: "I doubt that..."

Apollo: "Watch." _Walks out of the throne room and returns with a box and some wrapping paper. He wraps the box._ "BOOM! Beat that Dakota!" _Holds up his wrapped box proudly._

Artemis_(face-palms)_: "I can't believe I am related to him."

…

_"Percy: "AHHHHH! You killed him! Travis help! He is dying and only you can save him since you're a son of Apollo! CLARISSE! WHY?!"_

_Travis: "Whatever you say dude."_

_Rachel: "Clarisse, stop slashing the air with your sword!"_

_Clarisse: "I will kill you evil can!"_

_Percy: "She killed the pony! She KILLED the PONY!" Unsheathes Riptide."_

Hades_(peering at the screen)_: "Do you guys see the pony?"

Poseidon: "My poor boy is hallucinating! I must help him!"

Hera: "Considering this happened in the past, I don't think you can save him."

Poseidon: "Oh, right... Sorry."

Athena: "You would think he would be smarter than that."

Zeus: "You've seen his son."

Athena: "Touché."

…

Zeus's POV

"Oh us..." Apollo laughed. "That was... That was hilarious!"

"Leyna was so cute!" Aphrodite squealed. I had no idea who 'Leyna' was, but I didn't ask. I decided to save myself from a fifteen-minute explanation.

"That was crazy!" Demeter exclaimed. "Katie didn't even think about eating cereal!"

"Yeah, 'cuz she was too busy thinking about my son, the ladies-man! I'm so proud! Maybe I should try some of that Mountain Dew stuff. I need to step up my game!" Hermes grinned. All of us rolled our eyes.

"Please, stop with that nonsense," Artemis glared. "I believe you have enough children living at your cabin in camp."

"And you don't have enough!" Hermes taunted back.

"Stop with all the fighting!" Hera broke into the conversation.

"I still think I should try the Mountain Dew," Hermes pouted. "Too bad it probably won't affect me. After all, we are awesome immortal beings. A little caffeine wouldn't hurt us."

"Then why did Apollo go so insane on the caffeine?" Poseidon pondered.

"He's like that all the time," Hades replied. "The caffeine just helped him become more hyper than he already is."

"The physiological part of inhaling the substance most likely persuaded Apollo to explore the conditions of being mentally ill," Athena ranted using language none of us understood. "Being around other people with the same state of mental awareness made Apollo adopt the same mental state."

"Stop with all the fancy language Athena!" Dionysus complained. "You're making my cranberry juice taste sour, and that is a hard feat to accomplish since it already tastes sour!"

"You know," Apollo mused. "I would pay some drachmas to see Athena drink caffeine. If she ever goes crazy, it must be the Olympian Apocalypse."

"I would not be affected by caffeine!" Athena protested.

"Annabeth was affected," I pointed out, which earned me a glare from my daughter.

"How about we do an experiment of our own!" Hephaestus suggested. "Let's see if the gods really do go crazy if they drink Mountain Dew."

"For once, I agree with Heph. I wanna see you guys pummel each other!" Ares grinned evilly.

"Let's do this!" Apollo cheered.

I decided it was time to intervene. "We can do the experiment, but Apollo may not participate."

All of the other gods and goddesses sighed in relief. Apollo pouted. "Why?!"

"We've seen that you go crazy. We've proven the hypothesis to be false about you," I stated.

"Hypothesis?" Poseidon questioned.

Athena answered for me. "That caffeine will not affect godly beings, no matter how much of the substance is consumed."

"Fine," Apollo grumbled. "I'll leave you guys to the caffeine, but don't expect me to be gone!" He flashed out of the throne room.

"I'm out of here too," Demeter added. "Caffeine isn't related to cereal at all, so I won't eat it!" She flashed out.

"Anyone else think someone should be exempt from the experiment for one reason or another?" I proclaimed. Everyone looked at each other.

"Ares!" Hephaestus shouted. "His violent nature might be brought out by the caffeine, and he could injure us!"

"Hephaestus!" Ares shouted. "The caffeine might send his building senses into overdrive, and he could create deadly automatons!" The two gods glared at each other.

"Both of you are right!" I announced. "Hephaestus and Ares are banished from this experiment!" The gods were still glaring at each other as they each flashed out.

"Anyone else?" Hera asked. I thought for a moment before shouting out.

"Dionysus! Caffeine is too close a substance to wine! I banish you from this experiment!" Dionysus grumbled a few choice words. "Also, you must babysit the demigod kiddos at that camp today! That is your punishment for talking back to me!" I laughed as Dionysus scowled and flashed out to Camp Half-Blood.

"Are we ready?" Hermes asked. All of us nodded our heads.

It's time for the godly caffeine experiment to begin.

**Just in case you missed it, here is a list of the participants:**

**Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Athena, Hermes, Hera, Aphrodite, and Artemis.**

**Hope you liked it! Please review! Thanks! Also, thanks for everyone who contributed your favorite scenes!**


	2. Hours 1-3

Hour 1: (By Zeus's lightening bolt, this is not going to turn out well.)

Hermes: "This is gonna be awesome! I can't wait to get this party started!"

Poseidon: "Wait... Why do I feel like we are missing something?"

Athena: "You imbeciles! We are missing the Mountain Dew itself!"

Artemis: "It might be important to have the thing that started this whole experiment."

Poseidon: "Oh... right." _Poseidon snaps his fingers and an unlimited Mountain Dew soda machine appears. Next to it is a stack of blue solo cups._

Zeus: "Now we can start. Everybody, grab a cup!" _Everyone gets up from their thrones and moves toward the machine in the center of the room._

Hera_(yells)_: "Wait!" _Everyone stops moving. _"Didn't the demigods have a moderator?"

Hermes: "Yeah, but we don't need a moderator! We are immortal! We don't need a babysitter! Plus, we don't even know if we will go crazy. Why do we need a moderator if there is nothing to moderate?"

Aphrodite: "Hermes is right. We don't need to be babysat!"

Hades: "Good point, but I still think we should have a god on speed dial incase something goes wrong. How about Hestia? She's responsible."

Zeus: "Great idea brother! Someone get out their cell phone and put Hestia on speed dial!"

Artemis: "What are cell phones?"

Athena: "Dad, none of us have cell phones. You don't even have a cell phone!"

Hermes: "I have a caduceus!" _Holds up caduceus. _"The good news is that it doubles as a cell phone!" _Types a few things into the caduceus._ "Shush George! I'll get you rats later! Okay, ignore the annoying talking snakes. Yes George! You are annoying. Martha, I agree. George does need to get over his obsession with snakes. It is an obsession George! Sorry. Anyway, who knows Hestia's number?"

Athena: "You dolt! Hestia does not have a phone! We haven't even consumed any Mountain Dew, yet all of you are already crazy!"

Zeus: "Calm down daughter. Okay, so we won't have a moderator or a contact. We should be okay. And also, Apollo did promise he would stop by. He will calm us down if need be."

Artemis_(snorts)_: "You're counting on Apollo to save us from going crazy? Should it not be the other way around?"

Zeus: "Daughter, that is a valid point."

Hades: "Who cares about whether or not someone will calm us down? We are probably doomed anyway."

Poseidon: "For once, I agree with my brother. Everyone, grab a cup and drink some Mountain Dew!" _The gods crowd around the soda machine._

Hour 2: (Oh my caffeinated gods)

Zeus: "Apollo was right! This stuff is better than nectar and ambrosia combined!" _Downs the rest of his cup full of Mountain Dew._

Hermes: "Thank you Apollo!"

Athena: "You know what you guys need? A quiz! I will make one for you!" _Hurriedly scribbles on her blue solo cup._

Poseidon: "I can state for a fact that the hypothesis has been proven true! We are not crazy!"

Hera_(frowns and pets her stomach)_: "My stomach hurts."

Zeus: "That's probably just because you drank too much caffeine. Don't worry, you'll feel better soon honey!"

Hera_(smiles at Zeus)_: "Thank you sweetie!" _Kisses Zeus on the cheek._

Aphrodite: "Awwe! How sweet!"

Hades: "Gross! No PDA! We really don't need a repeat of last year..." _Everyone shivers._

Zeus: "Hey! It was not our fault you guys walked in on us using the royal hot tub!"

Posiden: "Bikini... Brother... Council meeting... Lightening swim trunks..."

Hermes_(presses hands to his head)_: "Get the image out! GET THE IMAGE OUT!"

Artemis: "That incident was one of the reasons I swore off love and men. I really did not want to see Dad and Hera in swimsuits kissing in the royal hot tub when they were suppose to be at a meeting!"

Zeus_(to Hades)_: "You just HAD to bring it up again!"

Hour 3: (These gods are crazier than Hera's pooping cows!)

Athena_(still scribbling on her cup)_: "Question thirty: What is the main export of Zimbabwe? Question thirty one: How many keys are on a standard piano? Question thirty-three: What is the solution of 244xy+134z-89y-4,567yx(56h+14xy-54z)-121h?"

Hades_(Drinking MD)_: "This stuff is good."

Poseidon_(To Hades)_: "Hey! That's my cup of Mountain Dew!"

Hades: "No! This is my cup!"

Poseidon: "No! That's my cup!"

Hades: "No! It's mine!"

Poseidon: "Mine!"

Hades: "Mine!"

Zeus_(grabs the cup from Hades)_: "Dear brothers, I believe you are both wrong; this is MY cup!"

Hades and Poseidon: "Nuh-uh!"

Zeus: "Uh-huh!" _The three brothers start bickering._

Hermes: "MIGRAINE!"

Hera_(rubbing stomach)_: "You get used to it."

Aphrodite: "Do you know what would make this experiment better? Pink cups!" _Snaps fingers, and the cups turn pink._

Hades, Poseidon, and Zeus_(pointing at the now pink cup they were fighting over)_: "That's not my cup!"

Artemis: "I used to hate the color pink, but now not so much. Anything that can make the brothers stop fighting is a miracle."

Hera: "Everyone, I have an announcement." _Looks down at her stomach._ "I-I'm pregnant."

Everyone: "WHAT?!"

Zeus_(gulps)_: "I-I'm gonna be a father..."

Artemis, Athena, Hermes, and Aphrodite: "WE DO NOT WANT ANOTHER SIBLING!"

**Thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed, or reviewed! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	3. Meanwhile

Meanwhile...

_(Yeah, I decided to do something different. I will have these 'Meanwhile...' chapters scattered throughout the story to let you see what the demigods think of the experiment._

_This starts at Camp Half-Blood...)_

Travis and Connor Stoll_(run around camp, screaming at the top of their lungs)_: "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! GET AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

Percy: "What's wrong now? Please tell me you didn't get hold of Leo's secret stash of Greek fire. Again."

Travis_(panting)_: "No, no. It's... It's much worse."

Connor_(panting)_: "Like the world is going to explode worse."

Travis: "Like Drew gave Clarisse a makeover worse."

Connor: "Like Travis discovered my secret stash of chocolate worse."

Travis: "Like Annab- hey! You have a secret stash of chocolate?!"

Connor: "W-where did you hear that? Psh, of course I don't have a secret stash of chocolate hidden under Chris's bunk! That's crazy!"

Travis: "Liar! I can't believe this! I-I thought we were blood brothers! How could you betray me like this?!"

Connor: "Dude! We ARE blood brothers!"

Travis: "Not anymore! I disown you!"

Connor: "Disown me! You can't do that!"

Travis: "Wanna bet?"

Connor: "Fine!" _Grabs three drachmas out of his pocket._ "I bet three drachmas you can't disown me!"

Travis_(grabs five drachmas from his pocket)_: "I bet five drachmas I can!"

Percy: "Guys! Stop! Focus! What was so wrong earlier?" _Travis and Connor immediately stop fighting._

Travis: "It's bad Percy. Almost as bad as Chiron's music."

Connor: "Almost as bad as Chris's cologne."

Travis: "Almost as bad as Malcolm's obsession with the quadratic formula."

Connor: "Almost as bad as-"

Percy_(face-palms)_: "Just tell me what is so bad! You make it sound like the gods have discovered caffeine or something! Now, that would be cause for mass panic."

Travis: "The thing that is so bad is-"

Mr. D_(flashes in)_: "I'm back."

Percy: "No! Not the wine dude!"

Travis and Connor: "We told you it was bad."

Percy: "Run! Camp Half-Blood is doomed!"

Annabeth_(joins the party)_: "What's my boyfriend freaking out about now?"

Mr. D: "Me."

Annabeth: "What are you doing back here? Did you hit on Hera again?"

Mr. D: "Not at all little Annabelle." _Said Annabelle grits teeth, but doesn't say anything. _"I got stuck with you stupid brats because of that stupid caffeine experiment."

Annabeth: "What caffeine experiment? Both camps have already done it."

Mr. D: "The gods decided to preform the experiment. And Dad wouldn't let me do it since caffeine was too similar to alcohol. So here I am, stuck with you brats."

Percy_(yells at the sky)_: "I SAID THAT JOKINGLY! I DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN!"

Mr. D_(rubs face with hands)_: "Thousands of years, and demigods still haven't mastered the art of being un-annoying."

Connor_(innocently)_: "Us? Annoying? Who would think such a thing?"

Travis: "Yeah, I mean, we're totally like little angels."

Katie_(passes by the group, on her way to the strawberry fields)_: "Travis? An angel? More like a devil child."

Travis: "Love you too babe!"

Katie: "Don't call me babe!" _Enters the strawberry fields._

Travis: "See ya guys! Gotta go annoy my girlfriend!" _Sprints to the strawberry fields._

Connor: "Annoy? Please. More like kiss senseless. I'm outta here. Peace!" _Walks to his cabin._

Mr. D_(to Percy and Annabeth)_: "Now will you two disappear?"

Percy: "Sorry wine dude. I need you to tell me everything about the gods' experiment. I have to know what to put in my underground bunker for the apocalypse."

Mr. D: "Too much to tell if I would tell you anything Perry Johnson._ (Sarcastic) _Maybe you should just go see them yourself. Wait. That's actually a good idea! You can babysit them so I don't have to babysit you!" _Mr. D waves his hand and Percy disappears._

Annabeth: "What did you do to my boyfriend?!"

Mr. D: "Your boyfriend is at Olympus. You can join him! Two for the price of one!" _Annabeth disappears. _"Finally! I've gotten rid of those annoying demigods!"

Connor_(stands up from his position behind a nearby tree)_: "ATTACK!" _Hermes cabin appears and pelts Mr. D with paint-filled water balloons._

Mr. D: "Gah!" _Waves hand and all of the Hermes cabin (except for Travis... he's still in the strawberry fields) turns into dolphins. _"Much better!"

**Did you enjoy it? Review and tell me who you want to be in the next 'Meanwhile...'!**


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